Signs of Life – When Discomfort Is An Invitation To Embrace Change

Somewhere under the surface, out of sight and the reach of light, something is happening. We know it’s spring when the leaves flush back onto the barren branches of winter. When we see the bright green carpet of new growth under foot. But long before the outward signs of a new season emerge, the true engine of progress has long been working away in the dark. 

The seed doesn’t know what it will meet at the surface, only that must unfold. It doesn’t know what it will become, only that it has no choice but to change. It leans into the unknown, following a pattern of life it cannot resist, no matter how painful it may be to burst and change forms. 

Sure, we’re waxing poetic here but the seed is an apt metaphor for the actual discomfort of growth we all experience in the many seasons of our lives. Often before we even know what’s happening on a conscious level, we can feel seismic shifts within, urging us towards something. We like to think of these inner sensations as the Signs of Life. 

When we are on the verge of change or growth, especially the kind that comes from internal change – as opposed to the world or life circumstances imposing change on us – the first thing we might feel is a deep and lingering sense of discomfort. It could feel like anxiety, nerves, a preoccupation with the unknown, a general sense of unease that the way we’ve moved through our lives no longer works. 

Some might experience changes in mood, or become easily frustrated. They might find themselves quick to snap or inexplicably lash out at loved ones. All of these are cues that something is shifting below the surface that demands our attention. 

At Stori we believe that discomfort is something to lean into and something to learn from. Just like the growing pains from when we were kids, the pain we feel internally, that’s hard to name or qualify, signals to us that we are on the verge of a breakthrough if we heed its call. 

Big life changes – an impending breakup or divorce, kids flying the nest, the loss of a job or life path that we thought was solid – all of these life events bring discomfort, but we expect them and are somewhat prepared to feel the grief of loss. But what we are usually not prepared to meet is the scratchy feeling of the familiar no longer fitting as it always has. 

The workaholic finds that no amount of work makes them feel valuable. The alcohol or drugs no longer soothes the untended wounds. The fun-loving circle of friends that only likes to skim the surface cannot meet us in our depths. When these kinds of inner changes occur, often the best thing we can do is reach out for help to explore what’s going on and what’s needed to support our growth. 

Life doesn’t come with a map or manual. There is no right or wrong way to do it. The best measure we have of whether our lives are a meaningful reflection of who we truly are on the inside is how they make us feel. So lean into those feels, especially the tough ones. Ask them what they need you to know right now, and take the answer that comes back to you as truth.

Finding the resiliency to keep going, even when the destination is unknown, is a sign that we are growing. Being willing to explore a new landscape within, even when we feel like a total beginner again, is a sign that we are about to discover a new part of ourselves.

When you’re ready to find a therapist near you that knows how to hold space for what is unfolding in your life, you know where to find us. At Stori, we’re always listening and ready to help you navigate the growing pains that come from being beautifully, messily alive.