Manic, Depressed, Anxious Or Just Really Big Feelings?

In today’s digital world, self-diagnosis is just a few clicks away. (Highly inadvisable, btw.) 

So many serious diagnoses and psychological terms get thrown around with plenty of abandon in pop culture, but not with a ton of accuracy. Everyone’s a narcissist! I know a sociopath! What if my sleeplessness is really a manic bipolar episode?! You see how this works. 

It’s all too easy to pathologize – far harder to accept, and then learn, how to navigate what might just be really big, very human feelings. 

Labels can be helpful for some by putting words to an experience or feeling they didn’t otherwise know how to name or articulate. And for others, labels can feel limiting, mischaracterizing, and can fuel feelings of otherness. 

Even if a label is helpful in some way to you, what if we pressed pause on assigning them and instead dove deeper into your experience to begin teasing out what you’re feeling? What might you find if you turned your attention inside, instead of looking for answers outside? 

The next time you feel your mind racing or you’re all over the map trying to keep up with your busy life, put your curiosity hat on and try asking yourself these questions to get to the root of what’s really going on:

1) WHAT AM I FEELING? 

Am I confused? Scared? Stressed? Angry? Does that anger represent sadness?

Whatever comes up, acknowledge it. That’s it. (Note: This can be a good place to start, but not everyone can identify their feelings. If that’s you, start at Step 2.)

2) WHAT DO I FEEL IN MY BODY? 

Is my heart pounding? Are my fists clenched? Is my chest tight? Does my throat burn? Is my stomach knotted? 

Locating a feeling in your body can take you out of your head and make room for your emotions to organically emerge. Simply notice what you find there. If you can, try to release it. Nature is a wonderful place to do this.

3) WHAT STORI AM I TELLING MYSELF? 

Do I make an assumption that I’m unlikeable, dumb, annoying, etc? Am I making something all my fault? 

The stories we tell ourselves are often super old, super self-limiting narratives, sometimes even handed down from previous generations. (FYI, this question can be a shortcut to a place of pain, so be gentle with what surfaces.) 

4) DOES THIS EXPERIENCE REMIND ME OF ANYTHING OR ANYONE FROM MY PAST?

Like when I could never get my father’s approval? Like when I was completely humiliated in front of everyone? Like when my best friend unexpectedly died? 

We often unknowingly bring our pain from the past into the present. Simply notice the connection, separate the past from the present and let it go. (Sometimes it helps to visualize little scissors cutting those ties.) Keeping them connected intensifies the current situation and could be clouding your ability to be present with what’s happening now. 

5) DO I NEED SOME SUPPORT? 

Do I need a place to unload so I’m not so weighed down? Do I need someone to help guide me through some painful things? Do I need a sounding board to make sense of this? 

A licensed therapist is someone who can walk alongside you as you navigate your inner world and provide some support while you take a look around. A good one knows how to help you shine a light on the stuff jammed into the crevices so you can really start to work with your “material” – inside the therapy room, and out IRL. And, of course, if you are experiencing symptoms that feel overwhelming or beyond your pay grade, seek professional support asap – always. 

Pausing a beat to answer the questions above does a few important things: 

• By staying curious about your internal experience, you give yourself some seriously helpful psychological space to avoid a shame spiral or being über-reactive

• By staying in your observer mode, you cultivate more self-awareness and consciousness 

• By practicing this line of inquiry, you begin to create a new skill set for approaching things that trigger your emotions 

• By reflecting on your answers you can begin to make meaning of the situation and process your emotions

When you’re ready for a helping hand, reach out. You know where to find us.